What were you doing five years ago today? As the holiday season began? Where were you? Who were you with? What did you want? What did you have?

Five years ago it was 2005 and I was finishing up my last semester at NAIT.  I was living in an apartment near Whyte Ave with my (now ex) boyfriend.  What did I want?  I wanted to finish my project so I could present it and graduate.  I wanted my boyfriend to propose to me.  I wanted to get hired at a great company so I could get out of debt and buy a house.  What did I have?  I had a relationship that had been going downhilll for quite some time.  I had a mismanaged project team.  I had an addiction to Coca Cola (yes, I drank Coke back then).  It was bad.

It's not that I don't like remembering the bad times, because believe me, I'm the first person to say that it's the bad times that you learn from (if you're lucky).  I just don't want to talk about it.

So instead, I will answer this question: What were you doing four years ago today? As the holiday season began? Where were you? Who were you with? What did you want? What did you have?

During 2006, I had been through a terrible breakup and several relationships which barely got off the ground.  I felt frustrated and impatient and it wasn't until I attended a wedding shortly before the holidays that I made peace with everything I was feeling.  And less than two weeks later, Brian found me.

Four years ago today I had my first date with my husband, Brian.  It was 7pm at The Louisiana Purchase in downtown Edmonton.  That night changed the whole course of my life.  I couldn't explain it at the time but I felt myself drawn to him like a magnet and I wanted to do anything and everything I could to be with him.  I knew that night that I had met the man I was going to marry.

We had two more dates before I met his friends.  And then that night they must have deemed me worthy because I was invited to his parents house on Christmas Eve.  On the car ride home, Brian held my hand and I thought about how wonderful his family was and I felt it deep down that some day I would be able to say they were my family, too.

For Christmas Brian bought me a box of Bernard Callebaut truffles and a thing that exercises your fingers for guitar.  (I can't remember what it's called.)  I bought him a t-shirt that says, "I shoot cats for money".  (Which he still has.)

After the dinners were over, he and I both had vacation until the new year and we spent almost every waking minute together.  It was during that break that I went to Planet Organic for the first time and that I had Boursin for the first time.  A lot of firsts happened for me during that month and during that holiday season.  I was falling head over heels in love with the man I was going to marry.  When I think about those weeks, my heart swells and my stomach fills with butterflies and I feel 22 all over again, realizing that my biggest dream is about to come true.

This year will be Brian and I's first married Christmas and I'm excited to start new traditions with him.  Even though nothing's really changed, I still feel the same giddiness, the same excitement, the same heart-pounding that I felt in 2006.  There are a lot of things that I want and I know I'll get them because like my past self, I've made peace with everything and I know it'll happen in due course.  What do I have?  I have an amazing husband and we have three funny kitties who make us laugh every day.  I have a wonderful family and incredible friends, all of whom continually inspire me on a daily basis.  I have a newfound sense of self and I feel so lucky to have this life.

(PS: Wondering about Radvent?  It was Meg's idea. Posted here on Princess Lasertron.)